Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize