im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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