You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
