Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
