You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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