but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
