Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
