Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
