best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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