whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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