The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
