Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
