Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
