Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
