It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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