There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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