Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
