Having a random hookup so left but love u
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
