She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
