So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
