Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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