Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
