yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
