FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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