He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
