She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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