Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
