you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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