Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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