I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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