There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
