You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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