she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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