kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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