why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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