you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
