Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
