Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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