Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
