I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
