Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize