Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
