New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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