So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
