i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
