Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i believe in u and ur pee
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
