i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
