win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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