He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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