And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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