11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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