How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
