he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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