PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm drive I can fine osifer
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How external is "for external use only"?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
