i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
