so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
