i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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