i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
