Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize