I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
