return my video game
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
