So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
