Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
