Dual....:-)
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
