Do you still have your period?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
