Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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