We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize