Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
